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National Hydration Crisis Hits College Fountains
Hugo Beveridge •
Outrage from College students as water fountains experience an all-time low water pressure crisis.
Sudden Migration of Penguins to Australia Coincides with College Classrooms Experiencing Sub-Zero Temperatures
Patrick Duncan •
Recently Students are finding it Impossible to focus on Lessons due to Unbearably Cold Temperatures in Classrooms.
Shocking New Reports Indicate Obesity In Local Water Dragons is On The Rise
Robert Parker •
Recent alarming data suggest that over 80% of Water Dragons on campus are now classified as overweight.
Major changes to CHAC Honors assembly leave many students questioning the future of the College
Hugo Beveridge •
New Format for Honors Assembly Leaves Students Scratching Their Heads.
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