QLD Government announces state takeover of College while Principal enjoys Italian holiday
While the principal is on holiday in Italy, the college sees radical reform in his absence, rebranding as Queensland’s newest juvenile detention centre.
The Queensland Government has ingeniously rebranded the school as the state’s newest flagship youth prison compound — a move they assure us is absolutely “necessary” under their sparkling new “tough on crime” policies.
It also marks the next stage of the college’s fierce campaign against students leaving their shoelaces untied—an alarmingly popular trend which jeopardises the safety of children, teachers and society as a whole.
“Twenty years ago, I watched a student trip on their untied shoelaces and crack their head,” insists an anonymous teacher, retelling this cautionary tale for what must be the thirtieth time this year alone.
Naturally, many students agree with the makeover.
“Everyone saw this coming, to be honest,” admits an anonymous student. “We all thought the new buildings under construction looked like prison cells, and it turns out they are. I’m excited to see how this change will affect my daily college life.”
Nobody can doubt that the principal wholly deserves this holiday after his excellent management and leadership as the College CEO over the years.
Completely unaware of the government’s plan, he declined to comment but offered to share a photo of the pork ravioli he ate for lunch in Naples.
More to come